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Why No Rhubarb?

Why indeed? We here at No Rhubarb! love the Rainiers, from their slightly hand-me-down name to the quite frankly ugly and old Cheney Stadium. We love the team’s awesome home hat and even more awesome road cap. We love the fact that Nick Lachey –of all people – is now a part owner of Tacoma’s hometown nine. We love that on a cool summer night, we can drive just a few miles and watch a professional baseball game under the stars, enjoy a cold beverage and a hot dog, and spend less than the national debt to do it. We love the fact that the Pacific Coast League now includes teams from New Orleans, Oklahoma City and Memphis, just because nobody could think of anything better to do with ‘em.

But we hate Rhubarb. More to the point, we fear Rhubarb. What many think of as a slightly odd, but generally unthreatening mascot is actually a monster. This is exhibit A:

Now, you might think that this is a charming photo of Rhubarb entertaining a little girl, but look closer. The glassy eyes, the gaping mouth, the flaring nostrils…. This is not entertainment; this is the last moments of a little girl’s life. We have no proof – whatever photographs have almost certainly been destroyed, either by Rainiers management or Rhubarb itself – but we know that moments after this photo was taken, this little girl was devoured whole by Rhubarb.

Something to remember when enjoying that cold beverage, hot dog and PCL baseball game on that cool summer night: A monster walks the field of Cheney Stadium.

Picture is courtesy of the Tacoma Rainiers, whom I certainly hope have a good sense of humor.

1 Comment:

  1. jamie said...
    I hereby declare the existence of this blog to be awesome. Hope you can get some good photos of that chubby guy doing the chicken dance... Keep up the good work.

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