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Three out of four, seven out of eight. Those would be losses, and this is not a team going in the right direction. The Rainiers lost tonight in Round Rock, dropping a series to a team that hadn’t had a winning series since the first week of April. Tacoma took the lead in first and in the fourth, but neither time could starter Jake Woods keep the lead. Mike Morse was the offensive star tonight, going 2-4 with a homer. It just wasn’t enough as Woods was touched up for 5 runs over six innings.

The Rainiers now head to Albuquerque for a four-game series against the Isotopes. A combination of bandbox ballpark and hot, dry high-altitude air make for the possibility of extra offense. Ryan Feierabend (1-2, 3.38) starts for the Rainiers against Isotope Jeff Fulchino (2-0, 5.02)

Also, reliever Ryan Rowland-Smith was called up to Seattle to replace Jeff Weaver, who was put in the disabled list.


Perhaps nothing can top the Zooperstars. Unless you can imagine what the Zooperstars non-famous cousin might be like. Wonder no more. Witness BirdZerk.

Please, do take a moment to check that out. Make sure the volume is up high on your computer. Go ahead, we'll wait.


By now you should be realizing that the BirdZerk theme song will never, EVER leave your head. You may well be homicidal. Perhaps you want to kill him.. perhaps yourself... maybe even us.

Please don't. It will go away. Just give it a week or two.

Feel free to check out the galleries. Revel in the mindless horror you see.

Remember, the same people came up with both Zooperstars and BirdZerk. I wish I had some of their drugs.

On Wednesday the Rainiers scored two runs and won. On Thursday, they scored eight runs and lost.

Nobody knows a damned thing about this game. If they tell you they do, they lie.

Wait, we know one thing: The Jim Parque Experiment is rapidly coming to a close. Tonight in Texas it was five runs on seven hits in 4 2/3 innings. His ERA stands at 7.82, and it's become painfully obvious he just isn't good enough. Really, you score eight runs (two guys – Jeff Clement and Rob Johnson – go 4-4), you have to win this game. The offense had been struggling for a week now, and you just can't let a performance like this go to waste.

Series finale tomorrow in Round Rock. Jake Woods (0-2, 6.50) starts for Tacoma, Jared Gothreaux (1-1, 4.06) for the Express. And hey, tomorrow is Fireworks Night in Round Rock. Just like home.


Justin Lehr shut down the Express over 6 1/3 innings, giving up only 1 unearned run on six hits. Bryan LaHair hit a two-run single in the first to provide all the offense Tacoma would need. Round Rock starter Juan Gutierrez nearly matched Lehr, going eight innings of two-run ball. The win snapped Tacoma's season high four-game losing streak.

Same two teams tomorrow at 5:05. Phillip Barzilla (3-1, 5.76) for Round Rock against The Jim Parque Experiment (1-2, 7.55).

Minor roster moves today; say goodbye to infielder Alex Meneses (assuming you realized he was here) and say hello to pitcher Drew Fiorenza and infielder Ronnie Prettyman. Prettyman got the start Wednesday, and went 0-3 with two strikeouts.


Monday afternoon, a perfect day for Tacoma baseball. The last home game before an extended road trip through the PCL Southwestern hinterlands. Again, a perfect day for baseball, which, quite frankly Tacoma owes us after we've shivered through some very cold, very wet baseball games.

But we weren't actually at the game on Monday. No, the first perfect baseball day just happened to fall on a day when we here at No Rhubarb! had previous plans. On the most perfect day of the spring, we headed up to Seattle, and stayed inside all evening. We went up to the Paramount for Silent Movie Mondays. This was our first try, and we are true believers at this point. Silent Movie Mondays transform the Paramount back into the movie palace it was meant to be. They use a vintage screen and projector, and fire up the Mightly Wurlitzer. A Harold Lloyd retrospective runs through the end of this month, and you shouldn't miss it.

Who was Harold Lloyd? Try this, a snippet of Why Worry?, one of the movies we saw on Monday.

Now, while we missed the game on Monday, we did have a correspondent on the scene. Kevin Freitas dot net, maestro of both and Feed Tacoma. Yeah, we are aware he claims that the .net isn't part of his name, but we are not dummies. We know the truth. Correspondent Kevin was nice enough to share his rather impressive photos from the game, including this soul-chilling look at crossdresser Rhubarb.

Photo Courtesy of

Yes, of course Rhubarb is a crossdresser.

There are two numbers to remember about the game tonight: one and four.

One, as in the total number of hits Tacoma accrued tonight. Four, as in the number of consecutive losses for the Rainiers. Round Rock pitchers were dominant tonight, striking out 13 and walking only three. Jorge Campillo takes the loss, dropping his record to 2-4.

Same two teams tomorrow, this time with a fairly early 10:05 start time. Justin Lehr (3-0, 3.00) - who has taken over as Rainier ace – against Juan Gutierrez (1-2, 2.76).


The modern-day Pacific Coast League is a massive enterprise consisting of 16 teams stretching from Tacoma and Portland in the Pacific Northwest to New Orleans of the Deep South. These are the teams our hometown nine will face throughout the long season. You must know the enemy!

The Team: Albuquerque Isotopes

The Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico

The MLB Affiliation: Florida Marlins

The Website:

The Ballpark: Isotopes Park. As we make our way through the PCL, we are impressed with many ballparks. The newer parks, like Franklin Covey in Salt Lake and Raley Field in Sacramento are jewels, smaller versions of the “retro” ballpark made famous by Camden Yards in Baltimore. Isotopes Park though, is the one PCL park we will have to see someday. Instead of aping the the early twentieth century look like Safeco Field in Seattle or PNC Park in Pittsburgh, Isotopes Park draws on the 1930's and 40's Art Deco style found in downtown Albuquerque, mixing it with some southwestern flair. The result is simply spectacular. Even more amazing, Isotopes Field is not an entirely new ballpark. The new park was built on the bones of the existing Albuquerque Sports Stadium, though very little of that old park still stands

The History: The Albuquerque Dukes were a longtime franchise that moved up and down the minor league ladder between 1915 and 1972. In 1972, the Los Angeles Dodger farm team in Spokane moved to New Mexico and became the first Triple A version of the Dukes. Albuquerque would remain LA's top farm club until 2000. That year the Dukes were moved to Portland, becoming the newest incarnation of the Beavers. Albuquerque quickly took steps to regain PCL baseball, and in 2003 the Calgary Cannons left Canada and moved into the newly completed Isotopes Park.

The Name: The Isotopes are named after a Simpsons episode. How cool is that? In the classic episode “Hungry, Hungry Homer” the Springfield Isotopes are in the process of moving to Albuquerque before Homer and his hunger strike stop them. When the Cannon franchise moved, fans overwhelmingly chose the “Isotopes” name.

The Prospects: Zilch. The Marlins field the youngest team in the majors, and their Triple-A team is strictly spare parts at this point.

Bees 4, Rainiers 2

Tacoma dropped their third in a row, as Salt Lake starter Kasey Olenbarger carried a shutout into the ninth inning. Mike Morse stopped the shutout bid, but the Rainiers were unable to close the gap. Olenbarger finished with 8 1/3 innings, giving up two runs on seven hits.

The Rainiers are on the road starting Tuesday night, with a 7:05 start against Round Rock in Texas. Jorge Campillo (2-3, 3.00) takes the hill for Tacoma, the Express have not announced a starter


The Week That Was: An uneven week for the Rainiers, going 3-4, but losers of three out of their last four. After splitting with Colorado Springs, the Rainiers have lost two in a row against Salt Lake, and they haven’t really been competitive in either game. If the Rainiers expect to contend, they have to better than a game under .500 at home. Currently Tacoma stands 14-17, good for third place in the Pacific North division.

On Deck: The series finale against Salt Lake is on Monday Night. The Rainiers will be glad to see the Bees in the rearview mirror. Tacoma and Salt Lake don’t meet again until the last game in June. Starting on Tuesday, the Rainiers hit the road and head for Texas for four games against the Round Rock Express. The Express find themselves with the same record as Tacoma, but they sit in last place of the PCL American South division.

In The Hole: After Round Rock, the Rainiers head to Albuquerque, for four games in gorgeous Isotopes Park. The Isotopes are at .500, just one game back of Oklahoma in the American South division.

Sometimes being a minor-league affiliate can be a bit of a bitch. The big club Mariners have an issue with reliever Julio Mateo. Well, two issues. The less-pressing issue is that he kinda sucks. The more pressing issue is that he up and got himself arrested over the weekend in New York. Now, the Mariners want to give him time to get this settled, but the big club can’t be playing a man short.

But the Rainiers can. Mateo was optioned to Tacoma, with Sean Green going up to Seattle in return. Mateo, who according to a radio report on KOMO 1000 was suspended for ten games, will almost certainly not pitch for Tacoma any time soon. But Green was already heading to meet the Mariners before the Sunday afternoon tilt with the Bees, so Tacoma will play a man down for the foreseeable future.

When you look at this from a Mariner perspective - the Rainiers exist only to serve the major league club - this makes perfect sense. From a Tacoma standpoint, it just sucks.

Bees 6, Rainiers 2

Salt Lake took their second in a row over Tacoma, as Joe Saunders - seen just last month handcuffing the Mariners - went eight strong innings. Saunders struck out eight, and gave up solo home runs by Jeff Clement and Brent Ust. That was it for the Rainiers, as Tacoma’s only other hit was a ninth-inning single by Rob Johnson. Jake Woods took the loss, giving up five runs in six innings.

The four game series with the Bees wraps up Monday evening, first pitch at 6:05. This will be the rematch of the touted Really Long Names Bowl of two weeks ago: Kasey Olenberger (3-1, 2.86) against Ryan Feierabend (1-1, 3.16). Perhaps one of these teams can sign Tim Spooneybarger or trade for Jarrod Saltalamacchia.


Bees 9, Rainiers 3

The Jim Parque Experiment was whacked for seven runs on 10 hits over 4 1/3, and Salt Lake buried Tacoma this afternoon. The second man up for Salt Lake was Terry Evans; he homered – the first of his three hits – and the Bees were off to the races. The Rainiers were down 9-0 before Wladimir Balentien hit his eight homer to at least get Tacoma on the scoreboard.

Same two teams tomorrow afternoon at 12:35. Joe Saunders (0-1, 3.55) – who really should be an Angel by now- against Jake Woods (1-1, 6.41).


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