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Now, we here at No Rhubarb! are baseball fans. We love the simple beauty and joy of the game; the perfect rhythms and dynamic contrasts; rich history and oftentimes bewildering contradictions. We are now and always will be baseball fans. We understand that taking a round ball and a round bat and hitting it square might be the hardest thing to do in sports. We also fashion ourselves traditionalists: life without the DH is more fun, artificial turf comes from the devil, baseball uniforms are supposed to be white at home and gray on the road. We loathe the unceasing parade of lousy Top-40 music played at every chance in nearly every ballpark we've seen. We yearn for the return of organs at baseball parks.

Now, this may make us seem like those crusty old bastards who won't accept anything past 1929, who ramble on endlessly about the Brooklyn Dodgers and when Cincinnati had the decency to be called the Redlegs. No.

Anyway, we understand there there is larceny in baseball and there is lunacy in baseball. We understand that sometimes it isn't the action on the field that keeps 'em coming in. And we understand that this lunacy is most perfectly expressed at the minor league park. It always has been.

And this is why we need the Rainiers to get with the program. While we understand that switch in ownership groups has hampered the promotions department, but we're past that now. Need some pointers? Just watch this space. We will attempt to find the best, the goofiest thing a minor league club has going on this year.

Case in point: The West Michigan White Caps are having Star Wars night. We've mentioned the natural Star Wars and baseball connection already, but this one goes a bit farther. Clone Trooper singing the national anthem. Costumed characters throwing out the first pitch. A big screen showing The Empire Strikes Back. No, the White Caps are taking it to the next level. Witness: the Star Wars uniform:

This, THIS is what we need. Get to it folks.

Thanks to the almighty Deadspin for the tip.


  1. Anonymous said...
    I agree, get with the program Rainiers. They need to give some sort of promotions away. I went to a game in Portland last weekend and I got a bobble head. That was one more promotional item than I have gotten all year from the Rainiers. They have no excuse.
    Anonymous said...
    I would agree that the Rainier's should be doing something in regards to SGA's, however how many bobbleheads does one need?

    I too was down in Portland last week, however the bobblehead of a Portland sportswriter really doesn't interest me, nor does the next bobblehead in Portland of Bob L. Head.

    Maybe go back to team trading cards, team photo's, and hats.

    How bout a bobber of the late Ben Cheney, the guy who started it all back in 1960, or maybe a stadium figurine of a classic park like Cheney Stadium?

    Hey, how bout an updated bobble of Rhubarb?
    frinklin said...
    Rhubarb bobbleheads scare me, but a Ben Cheney model would be a nice touch. Just copy the statue of him in the stands.
    Anonymous said...
    Why can't we have something like Portalnd is doing with new ownership.

    Portland Beavers (Pacific Coast League)
    Grand Re-Opening Celebration
    Friday, July 20 vs. Tucson Sidewinders
    A new figure has emerged on the Portland sports scene in the form of Merritt Paulson, who has recently acquired both the Beavers and the United Soccer Leagues' Portland Timbers. On Friday, this new era of leadership will be commemorated with "The Grand Re-Opening of PGE Park." Beavers and Timbers players will greet fans as they arrive at the game, and the first 1,000 in attendance will receive an envelope containing cash, gift cards or PGE Park Bucks. An as-yet-unidentified Portland celebrity will throw out the first pitch (here's hoping it's "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening), and a massive fireworks show will follow the contest. After all that hoopla, fans will undoubtedly leave PGE Park with a deep love for Mr. Paulson and his benevolent new ownership regime.

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