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We Didn't See This Coming...

Well, we guess that the powers that be at the Rainiers finally put No Rhubarb! on the press release list, but this is unexpected to say the least. Full text to follow:


Schlegel Sports Group and Starfire Sports Announce Partnership

Schlegel Sports Group of Dallas, Texas and Starfire Sports of Tukwila, Washington have agreed to the framework of a deal that will move the Tacoma Rainiers, Pacific Coast League affiliate of the Seattle Mariners, to Starfire Stadium effective Opening Day 2009. In addition, the team will be known as the Tukwila Rockets effective immediately. "We feel that Tukwila, with it's location central to both Seattle and the south King County suburbs, gives us the best possible future for Triple-A Baseball in the Pacific Northwest" stated Rockets General Manager Aaron Artman.

The Rockets will play out the 2008 season in Tacoma's Cheney Stadium as scheduled while Starfire Stadium is reconfigured for baseball. Starfire Stadium, currently the home of the Seattle Sounders Women's Club, will seat approximately 9,000 for baseball, The stadium redesign, to be unveiled later in the summer, will feature a dozen luxury suites and a walkaround outfield concourse according to Starfire CEO Chris Slatt. "We fully expect the redesigned Starfire Stadium to be the preeminent minor league baseball stadium in America." stated Slatt. The stadium, which banks the Green River, will feature a centerfield plaza leading to a boat dock and feature "more amenities than you can believe" according to Artman. The suites and premium seats will feature all-you-can eat food and concierge service.

Artman did state that the move has been planned since Schlegel Sports Group's 2007 purchase of the team. Schlegel Sports bought a team in a dilapidated stadium in Tacoma" proclaimed Artman, "and neither of those is the optimum situation. We began searching for a site in King County soon upon the sale being completed, and we found that Tukwila is our personal Elysian Fields." When asked if the parent club Seattle Mariners objected to the move at all, Artman stated that the opposite was true. "The Mariners, while prizing the close location of their top farm club, were often terrified that the random street violence that plagues Tacoma would put Mariner prospects in danger. This solves that problem neatly."

According to Artman, the recently announced "alternate logo" is in truth the new Rocket logo. "We decided to leave the name and logo in Tacoma, for use in a possible Single-A or semi-pro team in the future" conceded Artman. When asked about the Rockets former home, Artman asked, "Isn't 40-some odd years in Tacoma long enough?"

Wow... Somewhere Rhubarb is weeping.


  1. Anonymous said...
    Happy April Fool's Day.
    Harley Davidson said...
    Nice one, NOT!!!

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