On first glance, we're not sure. The logo itself is striking, but nothing about the look says anything "Tacoma". Red, white and blue with a star motif doesn't seem particularly Northwest, either.
We don't doubt this new look will fly off the shelves though. And despite our initial lukewarmness, we'll almost certainly sport a cap or something soon enough. We here at NR are total whores for such things.
Update: We're told that the star is meant to mimic the Mariners' compass-rose look. Not quite sold on that either. Due to the color scheme, we keep seeing the Texas Rangers. In fact, if you squint, you can sure see how the new Rainier logo would be an outcropping of this old Rangers logo.
We're not entirely sure if this entry qualifies for this "honor" quite yet. The Williamsport Crosscutters, Single-A affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, have a brand-spanking new mascot. The old mascot, a fairly dull, oddly bear-ish lumberjack named Rusty Roughcut, left the team to join the professional lumberjack circuit.
Of course he did.
Anyway, the Cutters have a new mascot, an odd blue and green creation that is currently nameless. Well, originally he was given the oh-so-original moniker of "Bozo", but that is copyright protected. So, the franchise is running your standard Name the Mascot contest. All you have to do is top "Bozo", which can't be terribly difficult. What would you name this thing?
I would go for Leaf-Covered Nightmare, but that wouldn't fit on the back of his jersey.
We will totally post this sucker once again after his debut. And yes, the Crosscutters have taken the early lead for "Most Atrociously Bad Team Website" of 2008.
H/T to Ben.
Darren Rovell's Sports Biz Blog is holding a March Madness-style, 64-team tournament to decide the best logo in Minor League Baseball. And no, the Rainiers did not make the cut. A mistake I think, one that disregards Tacoma's classic, understated look. Well, classic and understated is certainly nowhere to be seen in this list. The top 4 seeds are: Montgomery Biscuits, Joliet Jackhammers, Connecticut Defenders, and the Modesto Nuts. Personally, I think that Joliet and Modesto are very weak number ones, but I love the Connecticut logo. Three of Tacoma's fellow Mariner affiliates made the cut, the West Tennessee Diamond Jaxx (#2 Seed), the Everett AquaSox (#10 Seed), and the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (#13 Seed)
No Rhubarb's favorite to win? The #3 seed Aiken Foxhounds. And the Timber Rattlers are a nice darkhorse pick. Voting started Monday and continues throughout the month.
Imagine you are Roger Clemens. A few months away from your 46 birthday, your long and storied career in baseball seems to be over. Despite a fine year with the New York Yankees, you've become persona non grata within the major leagues. So what do you do? Money isn't an object, you've made tens of millions, perhaps hundreds. You really don't have the personality to work on television, but you're desperate to stay within the game.
Well, do the Huntsville Stars have an offer for you. The Stars, named after the nearby Marshall Space Flight Center, recently reworked their logo and uniforms to incorporate a rocket theme. They've offered Clemens a job.
As the mascot.
According to Ben Hill's Biz Blog, the Stars want Roger Clemens – the best pitcher of his generation – to be a the secondary mascot. They already have Homer the Polecat as their primary mascot. But when Homer is indisposed, “Clemens, as 'Rocket', will dress as an astronaut and simply interact with fans and assist with on-field promotions”.
Okay, I'll fly my ass down to Alabama if it means seeing Roger Clemens – the famously intemperate Clemens – dressed up as an astronaut. Can Tacoma match this? Maybe once Randy Johnson retires we can dress him up as a mountain?
The good news? Jerry Crasnick of ESPN takes a look at prospects playing in the Cactus League and mentions Tacoma Rainier (and possible Favorite Rainier) Wlad Balentien, saying that he might have a "higher upside" than the departed Adam Jones.
The Bad news? The column also includes this gem:
"He's got ability,'' the scout said. "But with some of his actions, it's like he's playing at the game -- he's not playing in the game. It's a 'look at me' kind of thing.''
Suffice to say, this is not something that should warm the heart of a Mariner or Rainier fan. We here at No Rhubarb! believe that the emotional side of sports (he's a gamer or a leader or whatever the hell else you can come with) is almost always overrated, but there sure seems some truth in this. Watch Wlad and it's pretty obvious he likes to show off. He preens a bit, especially after he hits a dinger.
Of course, the more homers he hits, the less it matters.
Last week, as part of his semi-regular Mailbag feature, Bill Simmons, the ESPN Sports Guy invited SuperSonics fans to write in, to vent, to scream, and to generally raise hell about the NBA's seemingly inevitable move away from the Emerald City. The result was the longest piece to ever run under Simmons' byline. The final product was 15,000 words, 15,000 words of heartache and rage, opened by Roger Angell's classic summing up of what it means to be a fan:
It is foolish and childish, on the face of it, to affiliate ourselves with anything so insignificant and patently contrived and commercially exploitive as a professional sports team, and the amused superiority and icy scorn that the non-fan directs at the sports nut (I know this look -- I know it by heart) is understandable and almost unanswerable. Almost. What is left out of this calculation, it seems to me, is the business of caring -- caring deeply and passionately, really caring -- which is a capacity or an emotion that has almost gone out of our lives. And so it seems possible that we have come to a time when it no longer matters so much what the caring is about, how frail or foolish is the object of that concern, as long as the feeling itself can be saved. Naivete -- the infantile and ignoble joy that sends a grown man or woman to dancing and shouting with joy in the middle of the night over the haphazardous flight of a distant ball -- seems a small price to pay for such a gift.
Simmmon's piece is a worthwhile read. Angry, aching, often ridiculous and always heartfelt.
Dave Niehaus today celebrated his 73rd birthday today by winning the 2008 Ford C. Frick Award, and with it enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Niehaus has been the the Mariners' primary broadcaster for the entire lifetime of the franchise. He is the voice of the Mariners, and the first thing that many M fans think of when asked about the team.
Like many of us from the Pacific Northwest, I grew up with Dave Niehaus. He taught me to be a baseball fan. I spent many a day and night with my dog, my walkman and some very, very bad baseball. Neihaus is a storyteller of the first degree, and it is his voice I hear in my head whenever I watch a baseball game.
And if you don't catch the reference in the title to this post, you're not a fan.
What the hell?
Being a fan of a minor league franchise is never easy. The teams exist only to feed the major league club's need for players, be they up and coming stars or replaceable spare parts. While we minor league fans love our boys, we also know they can be gone tomorrow. It's just a bit easier for fans of the Rainiers, since Tacoma's best should graduate to the Mariners, just a slow and traffic-filled drive up the highway to Seattle. Alex Rodriguez went from Tacoma to Seattle, so did Felix Hernandez. Adam Jones should have been the same.
But he isn't. Adam Jones, Our Favorite Rainier, will suit up for the Baltimore Orioles next season. He was the prime prospect sent to Baltimore for starting pitcher Erik Bedard. The Mariners sent Jones, reliever George Sherril, and three prospects (Kameron Mickolio – another NR favorite - ,Chris Tillman and Tony Butler) to the Orioles for Bedard. And that just sucks
Don't get us wrong, Erik Bedard is a very fine pitcher. He led the AL in strikeouts with 221 and won 13 games for a terrible Baltimore team. He'll pair with King Felix to form a dynamite one-two punch at the top of the rotation. But Jones ain't so slouch either. The best position player prospect the Mariners have developed since Alex Rodriguez (Ichiro don't count), Jones is a power/speed combination at a prime defensive position. Jones was expected to upgrade an outfield that is looking disturbingly old (Raul Ibanez), property of the Royals (Jose Guillen) and injury-prone Brad Wikerson. Plus, while Bedard is a free agent after the 2009 season, Jones will belong to the Orioles for the next six years.
The biggest drawback of this trade is that it misjudges how close the Mariners are to contending. Yes, the Mariners won 88 games last season, but they did that despite being outscored and featuring near dead zones at first, second and DH. This is not a team one pitcher away from the playoffs. This is a team that should be concentrating on young, cheap talent. You know, like Adam Jones.
While we here at No Rhubarb! are somewhat dormant during the off-season, patiently waiting for Spring Training and the orgy of aging white guy reminisces that entails, we are also blogging America's most important game: politics. Along with an old friend, we have begun to blog at Electoral College Dropouts, and we promise to bring to the 2008 presidential election the same utter lack of knowledge and research you find here. Enjoy.
No, please, do come visit.
Huh... somebody needs a new demon goat creature. The Rainiers are looking for a new demon-spawn Rhubarb. Apparently the last person to fill the costume was either tired of the goofy-yet-utterly-terrifying antics or God has finally hit the SMITE button and is ridding the world of these glassy-eyed monsters.
So, hey, why don't you try out?
Thanks to Zastica for pointing this out.
In answer to the almost-inevitable question: No, no, no... a thousand times no.
We've been working on a post regarding the Seattle SuperSonics and their possible (okay, probable) move to Oklahoma City. It isn't done yet, but we would like to take a quick moment to point that it's obvious the new owners aren't trying real hard. Say, for instance, this listing at the Sonics Team Shop. This very nice Sonics Flex Fit cap is currently for sale, but with an asking price of $28, 479.00, we think action will be a mite slow. We here at No Rhubarb are cap aficionados, but we rarely buy caps that top the 20K mark.
We're only mostly dead.
Actually, not dead at all. The last couple months have been a blur to me, and unfortunately this and my other blog have taken quite the hit. But fear not No Rhubarbian, we shall return with random updates all throughout the off-season. We'll hit any Rainiers news we come upon, and we shall spend a few hitting on the Pacific Northwest sports scene. Quick Version: Yay MLS, Boo NBA.
And I would be remiss not to mention the shout out we've received from Ben's Biz, a fantastic new blog from MiLB.com. Unlike many of the MLB corporate blogs, which run from the mundane to the ridiculous, Benjamin Hill knows his stuff and seems to love the minor leagues as much as we do. Please check him out.
We are not dead. Only sleeping. Actually, sleep is rather the opposite of what is going on here. We've been busy. We are...
... putting on a show! Come see it and figure out the mystery!
...making life miserable for local restaurateurs!
...playing with this thing, which might be God's perfect time-waster.
...getting yet another animal!
...getting seriously chagrined when we describe ourselves as “blogger”.
So, where do we go from here? The Rainiers are done for year. Minor league baseball – while now close to a year-round affair due to various winter leagues – won't be seen around these parts until next spring. We could – and almost certainly will – continue to blog about the other, slightly less local franchises. We've also kicked around the idea of following either the UPS or PLU football teams, and while we may keep abreast of them, we can't see that idea completely taking hold. Mostly because we don't have a clue about UPS or PLU football.
We'll work on it.
The Pittsburgh Steelers are a proud franchise. A tough, blue-collar team based born in a blue-collar city. A team owned by the same family for 50 years, originally purchased with the patriarch's gambling winnings. The same basic black uniforms, the same three coaches in 30 years. A team built on toughness and defense. A hard team led by hard men. Fans that are truly fanatical, spread around the world. A team that does things the right way. A team that understands that football is war. A team that never concerns itself with frivolities. A team with no cheerleaders.
Now though, they do have a mascot. In honor of the team's 75th anniversary, the Steelers have unleashed Steely McBeam on the world.
Now, we are fans of the Seahawks, and we cannot mock anyone when it comes to mascots. We do have to mention though, that every time we see Steely, we can't help but think of this, our favoritest Simpsons moment ever.
Keep reaching for that rainbow Steelers fans!
If you are the Salem-Keizer Volcanoes, what exactly do you do for a mascot? Like Rainiers, this is not a name that lends itself well for mascotdom. A geological formation – especially one with the ability to destroy cities – doesn't seem like a natural.
So, if you are the Salem-Keizer Volcanoes, you go a little nuts. Meet Crater:
No, we don't have any idea what Crater might be. Now, the Volcanoes one up themselves and feature Lil Crater. We don't know if this is Crater's son or mini-me. If he is the son, we have no idea what the mother would look like, and our sanity is contingent on the fact that we never, ever think about it.
Lastly, rummaging about the Salem-Keizer official site – one so poorly put together it reminds us of a late-90's GeoCities page, we also find this picture.
Apparently this is Blooper, who looks to us like nothing more than an orange and blue gorilla.
Just like God intended it.
The Rainiers got off to a strong start, ripping Nashville starter Mark DiFelice for six runs in 4 2/3. Starter Jake Woods wasn't much better though, giving up five runs over five innings. After the Sounds rallied in the sixth to tie, which carried the game into extra innings. In the the 10th Nashville pulled ahead on Brad Thomas' two-run double. Tacoma didn't go down though, scoring three to win, the last on Brant Ust's walk-off single.
Box
A complete game win for the Rainiers. Redbirds reclamation project Rick Ankiel hitting a standup triple in the first. Ryan Feierabend giving up two quick runs in the first and then shutting Memphis down.
None of these things matter. What matters tonight is that we have seen the Zooperstars.
And they are a billion times creepier than you can imagine. With the help of Kevin Frietas-dot-net – our copilot and photographer – we will bring this to you.
A hint? Harry Canary and the Black Eyed Peas. Specifically, “My Humps”.
You have been warned.
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This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat. This is not a giant rat
Okay, it's a giant rat.
Actually, it only looks like a giant rat. This is actually Chatter the squirrel and mascot of the Class-A Visalia Oaks. We would like to point out to very nice and disturbing details from this picture. You can see for yourself the overall horror of this giant rat creature, but now, focus on the small stuff.
1-The sleeves of the costume must not be quite long enough, because we can see the wrist of whatever unlucky soul has to wear this thing.
2-Chatter's giant, freaky, unblinking eyes are shaded like acorns. We don't know what this means, but it will haunt our dreams.
Adam Jones is back in the show. While this move is about three months too late for Mariner fans, we in Tacoma will surely miss him. The Mariners are being tightlipped about his role with the team, but anyone who's followed Adam knows he should be in the Seattle outfield every day. Hey Adam, you're joining a team in the midst of a pennant race and apparently some of the vets aren't that happy to see you. The Mariner blogosphere is pretty thrilled though.
No pressure.
Now, the post of Our Favorite Rainier is officially open. Wlad Balentien? Kameron Mickolio? Watch this space...
The modern-day Pacific Coast League is a massive enterprise consisting of 16 teams stretching from Tacoma and Portland in the Pacific Northwest to New Orleans of the Deep South. These are the teams our hometown nine will face throughout the long season. You must know the enemy!
The Team: Memphis Redbirds
The City: Memphis, Tennessee
The Affiliation: St. Louis Cardinals
The Website: MemphisRedbirds.com
The Ballpark: AutoZone Park. Commonly described as “one-third a major league park”, AutoZone Park was the most expensive minor-league baseball park ever built when it opened in 2000. Rainier voice Mike Curto has stated on the air that this is his favorite PCL park.
The History: Like New Orleans, Memphis was a longtime member of the Southern Association. The Memphis Chickasaws (or Chicks usually) were members up until the circuit's collapse in the early sixties. Later the Memphis Blues competed in both the Texas League and the Southern League. Triple-A baseball came to Memphis for the first time in 1998 with the arrival of the Redbirds.
The Name: Chickasaws? C'mon...
The Prospects: Memphis is all about Rick Ankiel. If it weren't for the amazing story of Josh Hamilton playing for the Reds after years lost to substance abuse, Ankiel would be the comeback story of 2007. Once heralded as the second coming of Steve Carlton, Ankiel made his major league debut at 20 and pitched the entire 2000 season in the Cardinal rotation. A surprise choice to start the first game of the NLCS against Atlanta, his start was a disaster, as Ankiel became the first pitcher since 1890 to throw five wild pitches in one inning. After that, his career fell of a cliff. An apparent victim of Steve Blass Disease, he would eventually bottom out a Johnson City, the lowest rung on the Cardinal minor league ladder. In 54 innings he threw 10 wild pitches and walked 49 batters. Following Tommy John surgery, Ankiel made a comeback. As an outfielder. Always a tremendous athlete and fine hitting pitcher, Ankiel has worked his way back up through the Cardinal system at center, and he currently leads the PCL in homers.
The Ownership: There is none, actually. The Redbirds are actually considered a charitable organization, and any profits the team makes go toward baseball's very worthy RBI and STRIPE programs.
The Schedule Quirk: The Redbirds are a skip team for Tacoma this season. Memphis comes to Tacoma this year, but the Rainiers won't see AutoZone Park until 2008.